When James Came into My Life

I met James on POF aka Plenty Of Fish. If you haven’t heard of Plenty Of Fish it’s an online dating website. I got the app to distract me from my ex boyfriend Allen. I just wanted someone to talk to and someone to understand what I was going trough. I ran into a lot of weird people on POF, but I also ran into someone that I connected with. Someone who knew what I was going through and was willing to help me through it and that someone was James.

James was not only interested in me becoming his significant other, but he was willing to be my best friend first and help me through my breakup. I also had other life problems going on at the time that he helped me with as well. James is a patient man, because in the beginning I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be with him and he let me take a week off without any judgement behind it from him.

During that week I really needed time to think. I needed to think if I really wanted to be in another relationship, because I was done with the bull shit, and the lies from men. I just didn’t want to be hurt again. I didn’t want to be another victim of heartbreak. After that week when I was out at dinner with friends and family ….. I messaged him ….

I know messaging him wasn’t the proper way to do it, but I actually missed him. I knew if I actually missed him than I had feelings for him. Somewhere deep in my heart I was willing to love again. I’m still trying to figure out these feelings of love, but I do have something for James I’m just not sure yet. I can’t figure out if my mind is playing tricks on me and trying to fill Allen’s empty spot or am I really in love with James…

Beyond that point of my crazy mind. James is a great man. He makes me feel special in every way that he can. He even drives three hours to come see me every other weekend. He buys me flowers all the time and he even takes me on amazing dates. We also have long conversations on the phone, a good sex life, and we hardly ever fight. Taking all these great things in why do I still care about ex? James has provided everything I ever wanted and much more. Still I sit here and pretend not to care about Allen.

I feel like I’m stuck in a landslide and I don’t know what to do……

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